WHAMBY THANK YOU MA'AM

RE: Well... we're not really sure what specifically prompted this, but it's probably regarding the entire life's work of Editor in Chief Wm. Steven Humphrey, including every edition of the Mercury ever.

MR. [WM. STEVEN] HUMPHREY—You are a whamby, based on the information [about] where you come from and your ideological opinions. The new liberal elite. Whamby. Whambies can resemble hipsters in style but whambies are the ones with money and influence. Steve Jobs types. They support the Free Tibet movement and practice expensive yoga sessions while they could give a shit about the oppressed poor people in their own backyard, especially if they are white trash—then they also get to make fun of them. They are all Buddhists and impose anti-smoking laws like their WASP ancestors did with booze and prohibition. That's a fucking whamby.

-Anna Murillo

FEMALE TROUBLE

RE: "Gender Bender" [News, March 22], regarding gay strip club Silverado's policy of charging women a higher entrance fee than men.

It is curious that the Oregon Liquor Control Commission [OLCC], a state agency, would allow a license to an establishment that violates the state's civil rights laws banning discrimination. When the City Club refused to allow women in the '70s, it risked losing its tax-exempt status. Silverado could risk losing its liquor ticket.

-posted by lagojaime

Hets come in from Gresham to gawk at us like zoo animals. I do feel sorry for lesbians or girls who go in with their gay friends. But, honestly I feel sorrier for the bar that you've bashed with this terrible, one-sided article that sets about to accomplish god knows what.

-posted by seanpdx

FOOD, DUDE

RE: "Rebel without a Pause" [Last Supper, March 22], the latest review (of Mi Mero Mole) by new Food Editor Chris Onstad, who continues to be under weekly scrutiny.

I'm good with this review, nicely focused on the food, and only passing mention of the space. If I'm thinking of taking a date to Genoa and have never been, okay, feed me poetic waxings about the atmosphere as well as the food, but in a real eatery, a taquería, tell me about the food.

-posted by Andymanpdx

UNSTABLED VANITY

RE: One Day at a Time [March 22], in which the public disclosure of Jennifer Aniston's monthly expenditures on her physical appearance are met with mocking incredulity.

If I had every alternative newsweekly in the country commenting on the horsiness of my natural features, I might be spending $8,000 a month on beauty products too.

-posted by harmonyrocket

CITY OF DRUNK CHILDREN

RE: "A Toast for Food Cart Booze" [Hall Monitor, March 22], regarding the hand wringing in city council over the OLCC's decision to grant liquor licenses to food carts.

This is a town where you give someone an inch and then they will take the whole foot and then someone else will whine until they get the other foot. There is no responsibility in this town full of drunken children. Do away with the OLCC. Put liquor everywhere. Let people drink until they pass out. But make it illegal to complain about parts of the city smelling like piss or puke or people dying in accidents because of the drinking and driving. Wallow in the filth of freedom, Portland, you fucktarded bunch of whining drunken babies.

-posted by Dave

ONE-WAY STREET

RE: "The New North Williams?" [News, March 22], regarding the much debated, culturally sensitive issue of reconfiguring the lanes on Albina's main artery.

So the planners spent a year jerking everyone off, and then came up with exact same plan they dictated in the beginning? Isn't it fun to [be] the impotent subject of someone else's game of SimCity?

posted by Blabby

WHEN YOU PUT it that way, Blabby, no, it isn't. You win this week's letter of the week and two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, which may not remedy your impotence but will most likely be a real good time.