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Just another day at the office.
Just another day at the office. Courtesy NBA

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Always saying, "Little girl, don't step into the club." Well, I'm just tryin' to find out why, 'cause dancing's what I love. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Before we get started, it's very important that you watch our very own Damian Lillard in the final seconds of last night's playoff game being A COLD-BLOODED BOSS.





Blazers beat OKC 118-115 to advance into the second round of the NBA playoffs. And despite Lillard's amazing buzzer-beating shot... well, haters are gonna hate. Bye-bye, OKC!

And the obstructionist keeps on obstructin': Because he's completely innocent, and this is something that innocent people do, Trump's White House is planning on fighting a subpoena for former White House counsel Donald McGahn to testify in front of Congress. Trump also says that he will take his case to the Supreme Court if Democrats try to impeach him—because he is a person who doesn't know how the constitution works.

Because they have nothing to hide, and this is something innocent people do, Trump's treasury secretary (and Bond villain) Steven Mnuchin still hasn't turned over the president's tax returns, but will decide whether he will or won't by May 6. (Spoiler alert: He won't.)

Because this is what honest, non-corrupt presidents do, this headline: "Six Trump Interior appointees are being investigated for possible ethical misconduct."

Before she was shown the door, Homeland Security Director Kirstjen Nielsen was told by Trump's chief of staff that she should bury her concerns that Russia was already meddling in the 2020 election because the president would take it to mean she was undermining his 2016 victory. BECAUSE THAT'S HOW FUCKED UP THIS ADMINISTRATION IS.

NOT GOOD: The Supreme Court is apparently leaning toward allowing the Trump administration to ask a citizenship question on the census, which could result in a dangerous undercounting and affect American elections for years.

A Texas Republican challenged comedian Patton Oswalt to a Twitter battle of wits—and can you guess who got obliterated?

Iowa's longest serving Republican has quit the party because he can no longer tolerate what the GOP has become under Trump.

Wake up Grandpa: Joe Biden is expected to finally announce his presidential run tomorrow. (Remind me again what anyone sees in this guy?)


Because I guess we need to say this: Despite what you may have heard on social media, Britney Spears says she has not been kidnapped and locked away in a mental asylum. GOOD TO KNOW!

IN LOCAL NEWS: A federal judge in Portland aims to block Trump's attempt to deny reproductive health to low-income Americans. Read the story from our Alex Zee!

In what could be deemed an effort to scuttle youth criminal justice reform, the Oregon District Attorneys Association has been circulating a report that criminal justice experts are saying is "laden with misleading assertions and ethical problems." Our Blair Stenvick has the details.

Get ready for a shock: Seven Oregon Republicans have actually joined Democrats in support of a bill that would keep guns out of the hands of domestic abusers.

Now let's look up in the sky at the WEATHER: Party sunny today with a high of 63, and more dry weather is on the way.

And finally, an Easter Bunny's work is never done.