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Violent actions by local cops violate court order, say activists.
Violent actions by local cops violate court order, say activists. Tojo Andrianarivo

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! You're trippin' 'cause sometimes I gotta go. But you the first one I holler to right after my shows. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

• Activist group Don't Shoot Portland are asking a court to rule that Portland Police violated a judge's order that was intended to limit use of rubber bullets, pepper spray, and other less lethal, crowd-control munitions.

• Here's a bit of good coronavirus news: COVID numbers in Oregon dropped last week following a worrying rise in cases, and Gov. Brown has allowed roller skating rinks and bowling alleys to SAFELY reopen in certain Phase One counties like Multnomah, Clackamas, and Washington counties... so if you're a bowler, WEAR YA DAMN MASK AND WASH YA DAMN BALLS. (Heh.)

• In other COVID news... remember how Republican Gov. Brad Little of Idaho refused to enact strict mask regulations in his state? Well now, Idaho's hospitals are overflowing with coronavirus patients and they may be forced to ask Portland and Seattle hospitals for relief.

• Because they think their religion makes them better than everyone else, Eastern Oregon's Hermiston Christian School is suing Governor Brown because they think the safety orders she put in place to keep people alive are a form of religious discrimination.

• The vacant downtown Portland Greyhound station is one of three new temporary houseless shelters being set up by the city and the county, and will open next month with 100 new beds.

IN NATIONAL NEWS

• OH THANK GOD THAT'S OVER! Last night marked the final debate between Biden and Trump, and... give the president a cookie! He was somewhat less of an asshole than usual! However, that didn't stop the constant stream of lies that poured out of his mouth, or the rambling Hunter Biden conspiracy theories that no one other than his QAnon pals would understand. Biden was fine and probably picked up a few votes, but the real winner of the night was moderator Kristen Welker who expertly kept this flaming train full of shit from flying off the rails. So now you literally have no other excuse... IT'S TIME TO VOTE. (And 47 million Americans already have.)

• Remember how the Trump administration can't find the parents of more than 500 migrant children after kidnapping them at the border? Headline: "Trump campaign spokesperson claims parents of separated children don't want them back."

• According to new data, Democrats are turning out "more low-frequency and newly registered voters" than the GOP in critical swing states—a fact that is making Republicans poop their pants.

• The US hit another COVID record yesterday, reporting more than 77 thousand new coronavirus infections in a single day.

• Trump's inspiring messages to domestic terrorists continues to bear fruit: "Teen with van full of guns had checklist to 'execute' Joe Biden, authorities say."

• Today in "Greedy Bastards Get Caught" news: International investment bank Goldman Sachs has been fined a record $2.9 billion dollars for embezzling $4 billion from a fund dedicated to helping Malaysia's economic development and using it to buy "real estate in Beverly Hills and New York, yachts, a jet and works by Vincent Van Gogh and Claude Monet."

• Find out what it's like to be on the front lines of Portland's nightly protests against systemic racism and police brutality with our livestream event/forum, "Eyes on the Ground: A Conversation With Portland's Protest Journalists and Documentarians"—coming at you Tuesday, October 27 at 7 pm. GET THOSE TIX NOW!

• In these terrifying times, don't you need a good, wholesome scare? Get your tickets now for SLAY—the short, eight-minute-or-less HORROR film festival from the makers of HUMP! Streaming right now through the 31st! (Interested in getting out more? Then come to the SLAY Drive-In at Oaks Park! Details here!)

• Now let's launch our eyeballs skyward at the WEATHER: Cloudy with a good chance of showers and a high of 53!

• And finally, I'm going into this weekend in the same manner as these bank mascots from Thailand.