1. Iām a single cis gay man and Iāve been going back and forth between wanting an open relationship or a throuple/quad when I start dating again. Do you have any advice or recommendations for finding out more about gay throuple/quad relationship structures? Iāve talked about open relationships and relationship anarchy with my peers and therapist, but no one seems to know a lot about throuples/quads.
Thereās not a lot of research into gay throuples and quads ā there isnāt that much research into gay couples ā but most of the successful gay throuples and quads Iāve observed started out as couples. So, instead of seeking a throuple or a quad, your best bet may be fucking with single men who want an open relationships and fucking with couples ā as a single person or once youāre in an open coupleā who are open to regular thirds and/or fourths.
Ā 2. Why is it hard to get a relationship partner to confirm youāre in a relationship or define the relationship?
Your partner most likely believes they benefit from your relationship remaining undefined ā they feel freed from ārelationship-officialā obligations ā and they sense you arenāt willing to call their bluff. Meaning, they sense you arenāt willing to break up with them if they refuse to define the relationship and embrace the obligations that come with being in a relationship as opposed to a FWB arrangement or a situationship. Basically, you canāt call the question if you arenāt willing to call it off.
Ā 3. My lover is in town for business, but he has an impossible work schedule. The only way I can see him is if I crash one of his work events. Iām tempted, but it probably means Iād just see him for a moment, say hi, and have to leave. How important is it for us to have in-person time? If we havenāt seen each other in months, shouldnāt I make the effort, even if itās just for a moment together?
Being in the same room with your lover and having to play it cool and not being able to touch them sounds like tortureā¦ Ā while also sounding incredibly hot. So, if youāre sure your lover wants to see you under those circumstances and isnāt just telling you what you wanna hear ā if seeing you and not being able to touch you would drive you both wild in a good way and make your next actual meeting even hotter ā go see him.
