Happy Monday! Start your week off right with our roundup of all the best things to do, from Bryson Tiller to Pearl Jam and from Hasan Minhaj to Becky Robinson. Still sorting out your Mother's Day plans? Check out our calendar for ideas.

MONDAY

FOOD & DRINK

CSA Demystified
If you've always wanted to participate in CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) but are a little bit daunted at the idea of receiving armfuls of chard and zucchini on a weekly basis, this free event is here to help demystify it and answer all your burning produce questions while you sip a glass of wine. Local farmers Katie (Sweet Annie's Farm) and Carol (Fox and Bear Urban Farm) will chat about what it's like to run a CSA program, and you'll learn about the benefits, how to get the most out of your box, how to meal plan and prep to avoid food waste, and how to choose an option that's right for you. JULIANNE BELL
(Vivienne Culinary Books, Concordia)

Hello, and welcome back to The Trash Report! I'm Elinor Jones, feeling much better now than I felt last week. I think the universe knew I was blue—probably because I loudly broadcast it?—and I have since been complimented for my humor and the effectiveness of my skincare routine (sunblock and botox, babies!) and so the ego is recharged. Thank you, everyone, for being nice to me and to others. We love a kind Trash Panda. Now, onto the gossip! 

Hope Springs Happily Ever After

The hush money trial of disgraced ex-president Donald Trump carried on last week. We have previously discussed the rumors of Trump farting in the courtroom, but they bear repeating, because they're funny. Trump has not addressed the olfactory allegations, but did take to Truth Social in response to the many media reports of him nodding off in court, posting "Contrary to the FAKE NEWS MEDIA, I don't fall asleep during the Crooked D.A.'s Witch Hunt, especially not today. I simple close my beautiful blue eyes, sometimes, listen intensely, and take it ALL in!!!" Oh yes, isn't that how the famous quote goes? Justice isn't blind, she's just resting her beautiful blue eyes....?

Trump's right-hand-woman Hope Hicks took the stand to admit that it was highly unlikely that Trump fixer Michael Cohen acted on his own in paying Stormy Daniels $130,000. She also cried, which is White Lady for "I'm the real victim here." Then, seemingly swept up in the romance of sniffing whatever kind of farts a diet of overcooked steak with ketchup will give an old man, 35-year-old Hicks also just announced her engagement to 53-year-old Goldman Sachs finance guy Jim Donovan. Hicks and Donovan are what I call "Rectangle People," in that they look like a collection of rectangles. It's what Taylor Swift meant when she sang about a poet "trapped inside the body of a finance guy." Bodies of finances guys are, factually, rectangles, which are very hard to escape, especially for poets, who do not think linearly. Congratulations, Hope and Jim! May you be blessed with many bouncing bundles of long limbs and right angles.

The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support!

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Expect more showers and cool temps until Wednesday, but by the weekend? BAM, BABY! We're looking at sunny skies and temps in the low 80s! (I'm really getting tired of getting out my thongs from storage only to have to pack them up again... but I guess that's spring for ya! 🤷‍♂️) Now let's dig around in my thong boxes for some morning NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• First of all, EVERYBODY RELAX: Sugar, the escaped zebra who roamed the wilds of western Washington for six days, has been safely located and will now be shipped back to its keepers in Montana—you know, where zebras run free on the plains. 😒 

• Today in yet another bullshit Oregonian poll that means just about as much as a fart in the breeze: The O is claiming that candidate (and conservative darling/former Republican) Nathan Vasquez has a sizable lead over current Multnomah County District Attorney Mike Schmidt after polling... *checks notes*... only a scant 300 people (??) out of the nearly 800,000 folks that live in the county. Wow, if that's the case, why don't they just poll seven people eating pie at a local Shari's and call it good? (By the way, both the Oregonian and Willamette Week endorsed the conservative prosecutor, and the weird, strained logic exhibited by both is mind-boggling. Compare it to our endorsement of Schmidt, and you'll see what I mean. This is what happens when you get all your information from People for Portland billboards, I guess!)

• Oh! And while we're on the topic:

Need help filling out your ballot? The Mercury Election Strike Force is here to save the day with our smarty-pants ELECTION ENDORSEMENTS! (And if you're in a real hurry, use our handy-dandy VOTER CHEAT SHEET!)

Hurrah, democracy is SAVED! ✨https://t.co/0RDPCTwgAa

— Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) May 5, 2024

GOOD MORNING, SUNDAY! It's the perfect time to catch up on some of the great reporting and stories the Mercury churned out this week! (PRO TIP: If you despise being "the last to know," then be one of the first to know by signing up for Mercury newsletters! All the latest stories shipped directly to your email's in-box... and then... YOUR HEAD.)

• The Mercury's Endorsements for the May 2024 Primary Election!

Grab your ballot, because it's time to vote! And don't worry—we've done all the research for you with our May election endorsements. Check 'em out and see if you agree! (Ooh, and if you're in a rush, check out our handy-dandy Voter Cheat Sheet!)

• Police Arrest 30 During Portland State University Library Raid and Ongoing Protest

Cops swarmed the Portland State University campus on Thursday (twice!) to disband a days-long occupation. So far, 30 arrests were made. However, a prominent educators' union is now denouncing the university's response.

• POP QUIZ PDX!

Strap on your brain, it's time to play POP QUIZ PDX—your local, super fun trivia quiz. This week: runaway animals, rail-hopping trains, and billion dollar babies (often "crybabies"). See how well YOU score!

John Rosman’s directorial debut feature is like a great Bob Dylan song, which is fitting for how often you hear the singer’s distinct voice throughout it. New Life is a bit weird, more than a little confrontational, and yet, most importantly, it’s an experience you can’t stop listening to.

The longer you watch, the more it sneaks up on you before bowling you over in a finale both painfully inevitable and bold in a way that rips your guts out. New Life is one of the most fascinating movies of the year and, just as importantly, it exists right alongside Pig as a great Portland-shot movie that plays with our expectations.

There’s been some anxious energy surrounding Portland’s 10-cent gas tax, which is on the ballot for renewal in the upcoming primary election. The tax funds the Portland Bureau of Transportation’s (PBOT) Fixing Our Streets maintenance program, going toward street paving and safety projects like traffic signals, sidewalk installation and repair, and street lighting. And given PBOT’s precarious financial situation and major maintenance challenges, the bureau can’t afford to lose this income.

PBOT’s budget outlook isn’t as dire now as it was last fall, mostly thanks to a much-needed windfall from the Portland Clean Energy Community Benefits Fund (PCEF). The bureau is also banking on some extra funds coming in from increased parking enforcement and parking meter inflation. But PBOT is still heavily reliant on the gas tax, which bureau leaders expect will take in about $75 million over the next four years.

Considering 77 percent of Portland voters endorsed the gas tax in the 2020 election, it should be a shoo-in for renewal, right? Well, it’s probably going to pass, having netted endorsements from across the political spectrum, including the Oregonian’s editorial board, the Portland Business Alliance, Willamette Week, all five members of Portland City Council, and us at the Mercury. Better yet, a city poll last fall found most Portland voters would say “yes” to the 10-cent-per-gallon renewal. 

Regardless, there appear to be growing concerns about the tax, and about our transportation funding system in general. Many of these concerns make sense. For instance, one big concern with the tax is that PBOT’s reliance on it makes it hard for the city’s transportation leaders to fully commit to weaning off fossil fuels, considering the effect that would have on the bureau’s income. It also fails to reap any earnings from the increasing share of Portlanders who drive electric vehicles. 

But some perspectives on the gas tax would benefit from deeper investigation. 

NEW OPENINGS 

Mole Mole Mexican Cuisine
The cult favorite mole specialist debuted a new cart within the Prost! Marketplace pod on Wednesday, with an extensive menu of burritos, tacos, enchiladas, nachos, flautas, quesadillas, chimichangas, and more.
Boise

Whether you're putting the finishing touches on your weekend plans or you have no idea what you're doing right after you shut your laptop on Friday, we're here to help. We'd like to suggest cheap and easy events from Oregon Rises Above Hate Kick Off Day to the Portland Cinco de Mayo Fiesta and from Free Comic Book Day to Crafty Wonderland's Spring Art + Craft Market. For more ideas, check out our guide to the top events of the week and our Cinco de Mayo guide.

FRIDAY

COMEDY

Swiped Out!
Because nothing's less funny than the prospect of eternal singledom, loneliness, and despair, Kickstand will snatch up real audience dating profiles and lend a helping hand with a team of "professionally trained dating experts" (aka improvisers) on stage. You'd have to be the perfect blend of brave and desperate to participate in such a thing, but I mean, "I'm sending this message with the help of nine comedians" is a hell of an opener, right? LC
(Kickstand Comedy, Ladd's Addition, $15 or PWYW)

The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support!

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Say goodbye to the morning sun, and say hello to the first day of a rainy weekend, with showers developing this afternoon and then continuing through Sunday, and highs in the upper 50s. The good news? Ummmm... you don't have to wash your car? 😬 And now here's the good news/bad news of... today's NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• GOOD NEWS! The Mercury's May Primary Endorsements have arrived, so you may now fill out your ballot. We worked our buttz off to bring you the best, most trustworthy endorsements in town, and... how do we know we're the best? Well, for one thing we didn't endorse Nathan Vasquez, Sam Adams, or Jessie Burke. (I understand that's a low bar.) Seriously though, our endorsements are great, and more importantly, CORRECT—so grab your ballot and let's get votin'!

• Six days after pro-Palestine protesters occupied the Portland State University library, police barged in and swept and evicted the building's occupants, not once, but twice on Thursday. While many escaped the first purge, riot clad cops arrested twelve demonstrators on their first pass, and after an afternoon of creating a human shield in front of the library and listening to hundreds chant (with very little signs of violence), the police departed in the late afternoon. Aaaaaand that's when protesters returned and re-occupied the library. Police moved back in, cleared the building, and by the time the night was through, had arrested 30 total for the day. Mayor Wheeler held a press conference to say that if the protesters thought that occupying a school building was an effective way of changing policy, they are "delusional." (But perhaps he's forgetting about the numerous times that campus occupation have been successful at changing policy. Tomato, to-mah-to, I guess! 🤷‍♂️) Our Courtney Vaughn has more!

• And the award for most "Overdramatic Telenovela" goes to....

Portland Police clear Portland State University Library - May 2, 2024 pic.twitter.com/TKDnqYu1uY

— Portland Police (@PortlandPolice) May 2, 2024

[Hello! You know, putting these endorsements together takes LOTS of hard work—and that's on top of our regular excellent reporting. Show your appreciation for the Mercury with a small contribution, please, and thank you!—eds]

Welcome to a very busy and spicy May primary election! And this one has it all—a battle for both the Multnomah County Board of Commissioners (which could have big-time future ramifications) and Multnomah County DA, two Dems fighting to regain Oregon's 5th Congressional District from Republican hands, a handful of measures, a crowded race to fill the seat of retiring US Rep. Blumenauer, and more!

"DANG," you might be saying to yourself, "How am I supposed to research all these races myself, and make a logical, ethical choice?" We'll tell you how... with the Mercury's May 2024 endorsements! We've been working our buttz off for months, interviewing candidates, digging deep into their pasts and voting records, and writing our fingers to the bone so we can present these endorsements—which we have to admit are pretty darn good and trustworthy.

[The Mercury Election Strike Force is News Editor Courtney Vaughn, News Reporter Taylor Griggs, Arts & Culture Editor Suzette Smith, and Editor-in-Chief Wm. Steven Humphrey. We do not endorse in uncontested races. Oh and by the way, putting these endorsements together takes LOTS of hard work—and that's on top of our regular excellent reporting. Show your appreciation for the Mercury with a small contribution, please, and thank you!—eds]

Multnomah County District Attorney: Mike Schmidt

Since taking the reins at the Multnomah County District Attorney’s Office in 2020, Mike Schmidt has faced a deluge of crises, and criticism. 

Schmidt took office in August 2020 amid a global pandemic and nationwide racial justice reckoning that spurred prolonged protests in Portland. Those external factors, coupled with a nationwide rise in crime during the pandemic (that has since fallen) painted the picture for many residents that Multnomah County was in dire straits. 

Unsurprisingly, residents placed the blame on those in power, and Schmidt, who got elected on a progressive campaign of criminal justice reform, was an easy target. 

By the summer of 2023, the DA’s face was plastered on billboards downtown that singled him out as the culprit of Portland’s problems. While the unsavory tagline may have been catchy, it was largely misleading.

[The Mercury Election Strike Force is News Editor Courtney Vaughn, News Reporter Taylor Griggs, Arts & Culture Editor Suzette Smith, and Editor-in-Chief Wm. Steven Humphrey. We do not endorse in uncontested races. Oh and by the way, putting these endorsements together takes LOTS of hard work—and that's on top of our regular excellent reporting. Show your appreciation for the Mercury with a small contribution, please, and thank you!—eds]

Measure 26-244 Metro Zoo Bond - YES 

Choosing how to vote on the Oregon Zoo bond is complicated, but not necessarily because of the tax math. Despite the $380 million sticker shock, the cost to taxpayers does not look significant. This new, "phase 2" bond replaces $125 million in funds voters approved by healthy margins in 2008, which are set to expire in 2025. The "phase 2" zoo bond is projected to set Multnomah, Washington, and Clackamas county residents back an estimated 8.5 cents per $1,000 of taxable property per year, which remains very similar to what taxpayers were already paying on the old bond, so—word problem time!—if my friend's house is assessed at around $500,000, he's going to fork over approximately $42.50 to otters every year. 

[The Mercury Election Strike Force is News Editor Courtney Vaughn, News Reporter Taylor Griggs, Arts & Culture Editor Suzette Smith, and Editor-in-Chief Wm. Steven Humphrey. We do not endorse in uncontested races. Oh and by the way, putting these endorsements together takes LOTS of hard work—and that's on top of our regular excellent reporting. Show your appreciation for the Mercury with a small contribution, please, and thank you!—eds]

Oregon Attorney General: Dan Rayfield

Fun fact: According to state law, one does not have to be an attorney to be Oregon Attorney General... but it certainly can't hurt, which is why we're endorsing attorney and former House Speaker Dan Reyfield, purely on his wealth of experience. Apparently we're not the only ones who think so, as Rayfield boasts a truckload of endorsements from labor, educators, and health providers, and vows to focus on protecting Oregonians' reproductive health and combating threats to abortion, stopping gun violence, and holding corporate polluters accountable. So, yeah... vote for Dan Rayfield.

All that said, please take a good look at his primary competitor for this seat, Shaina Maxey Pomerantz, who is extremely impressive and someone we would love to endorse in the future for the appropriate office. While her legal background and legislative experience doesn't match that of Reyfield, she's kicked ass as a civil rights investigator and as a member of Portland's Office of Equity and Human Rights. She's also been the vice chair of the Citizen's Review Committee, and sat on the Police Bureau Equity Advisory Committee. So our question is, "Why isn't Pomerantz running for Portland mayor (which desperately needs this type of candidate) or city council?" That isn't a slam—we're begging for smart, progressive folks like Pomerantz to flex the muscles that will specifically help Portland. (Call us greedy, but we hope to see much more of Pomerantz in the future!)

[The Mercury Election Strike Force is News Editor Courtney Vaughn, News Reporter Taylor Griggs, Arts & Culture Editor Suzette Smith, and Editor-in-Chief Wm. Steven Humphrey. We do not endorse in uncontested races. Oh and by the way, putting these endorsements together takes LOTS of hard work—and that's on top of our regular excellent reporting. Show your appreciation for the Mercury with a small contribution, please, and thank you!—eds]

Congressional Races

US Representative, 1st District: Suzanne Bonamici

A former consumer protection attorney, Suzanne Bonamici’s Congressional tenure began in 2012. She’s won each re-election bid since then, and there’s good reason for that.

Bonamici, who currently serves on the Committee for Education and Workforce, as well as the Science, Space, and Technology Committee, prides herself on policies that prioritize the wellbeing of the working class, families, and children. She’s also been a watchdog for her most vulnerable constituents. Most recently, she partnered with two other legislators to introduce a bill that would crack down on predatory debt collectors. 

You’ll also find her name attached to bills that strengthen the arts, secure worker protection, prioritize affordable housing and child nutrition, and work to tackle a national nursing shortage. Bonamici has also proven diligent in bringing important federal funding back to Oregon.

Nearly everything the congresswoman has done over the past 12 years has been geared toward improving lives. That said, Bonamici is a bit of an establishment candidate in the Democratic Party. At worst, her legislation can be milquetoast and ineffective, and Bonamici isn’t one to push back on her party’s agenda.